Why We Kiss Under the Mistletoe

If you’ve ever wondered why we kiss under the mistletoe and how the plant got that strange name, well, wonder no more.

The name for mistletoe derives the fact that mistletoe tends to spring from bird droppings that have fallen on trees, with the seeds having passed through the digestive tract of the birds. Thus, the plant was given the name “misteltan” in Old English from “mistel”, meaning “dung”, and “tan”, the plural of “ta”, meaning “twig”. Hence, “mistletoe” is another way to essentially say “dung twig”.

Not only is mistletoe a dung twig, but most varieties of this plant are partial parasites, being unable to sustain themselves on their own photosynthesis, so they leach what they need from the particular tree they are growing on. Some varieties of mistletoe, such as the North America Arceuthobium pussilum, are full parasites in that they get all their resources from the tree they are growing on and have no leaves.

So where did the tradition of kissing under a parasitic poop twig come from? The mistletoe has been considered a prized plant throughout history going all the way back to the Ancient Greeks, Celts, the Babylonians, and Scandinavians. For instance, the Ancient Greeks considered the plant an aphrodisiac; believed it aided in fertility; and could be used to achieve eternal life.

According to Ancient Babylonian legend, they had the closest thing to our current tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. At that time, single women looking for a mate supposedly would stand outside of the temple of the goddess of love. Mistletoe was hung over the entrance to the temple and when a potential suitor would approach one of the ladies, they were supposed to bond with him. They did not kiss, however, as kissing wasn’t a way to show affection at that time in the Babylonian empire.

As for a more direct root of our kissing tradition, Norseman had many traditions and legends concerning the mistletoe. One tradition was that mistletoe was a plant of peace and so that when enemies met under the mistletoe they were obliged to stop fighting for at least a day. Eventually, this spawned a tradition to hang mistletoe over the doorway of one’s home for peace and good luck.

Mistletoe became associated with Christmas from this tradition of hanging mistletoe in one’s home to bring good luck and peace to those within the house. The mistletoe would be hung around the New Year and the previous year’s mistletoe would be taken down, with its powers apparently tapped. The new plant would then provide this luck throughout the year.

By the 18th century in Britain, this evolved into the kissing tradition we have today. At this time, it became popular to create a ball of mistletoe that would be hung as a Christmas decoration. If a couple was found standing under the mistletoe, they were then obliged to kiss if the mistletoe ball still had berries. For each kiss, one berry would be taken from the ball. Once all the berries were gone, all the “luck” in love and marriage was considered to be drained out of the mistletoe and it was now considered bad luck to kiss beneath it, instead of good luck as before.

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Bonus Facts:

  • According to Norse legend, when the god Baldur and his mother both had a dream concerning his death, his mother Frigga made nearly all things on Earth, both living and dead, promise to never harm her son. She extracted this promise from all things except mistletoe, which she felt was too young to make such a promise. At this point, one of the god’s new pastimes was to throw various objects that would normally kill a person or god at Baldur, which would all bounce off without harming him. The god Loki then tricked Baldur’s blind brother into throwing a small spear with the tip made from a mistletoe twig at Baldur, killing him. Baldur’s brother was then killed for this act by the gods. Eventually, it was discovered that Loki had been behind the whole thing and he was tied down with a serpent over him that would drip venom on his face, which had an acidic effect. His wife then would sit over him and stop the venom from dripping on his face by collecting it in a bowl. When the bowl was filled and she had to empty it, inevitably some of the venom would drip on his face causing him to thrash about, thus resulting in earthquakes according to their legend. Frigga’s tears over her fallen son were then said to be where the white berries on mistletoe come from.
  • The Druids also considered mistletoe sacred. The Roman historian Pliny the Elder described in detail the ritual performed by the Druids collecting mistletoe: “Here we must mention the reverence felt for this plant by the Gauls. The Druids — for thusly are their priests named – hold nothing more sacred than the mistletoe and the tree that bears it, as long as that tree be an oak…. Mistletoe is very rarely encountered; but when they do find some, they gather it, in a solemn ritual…. After preparing for a sacrifice and a feast under the oak, they hail the mistletoe as a cure-all and bring two white bulls there, whose horns have never been bound before. A priest dressed in a white robe climbs the oak and with a golden sickle cuts the mistletoe, which is caught in a white cloak. Then they sacrifice the victims, begging the god, who gave them the mistletoe as a gift, to make it propitious for them. They believe that a potion prepared from mistletoe will make sterile animals fertile, and that the plant is an antidote for any poison. Such is the supernatural power with which peoples often invest even the most trifling things” (Natural History, XVI, 249-251; translation by David Beaulieu)
  • Another custom in England concerning mistletoe was for young girls to each take a mistletoe leaf and put it under their pillows at night.  They would then supposedly dream about a particular boy or man they wanted to marry someday.  In the morning, they would burn the leaf.  If it crackled while it burned, that was said to mean they would have an unhappy marriage with the one they dreamed about.  If it burned without crackling, they would supposedly have a happy marriage with that person, if they were to wed them.
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  • While doing some research on Stonehenge and the Druids, I learned that there are many common misconceptions about the Druids and much was written about them after the time they lived. Are you sure about their mistletoe ritual? I read that a gold blade wouldn’t be able to cut through the branches.

  • Just thought I would post how much I love reading the interesting facts you post. Knowledge is power, even if all the facts you learn about have little to no use in work related activities.

    A continuous intake of knowledge can, however, keep your mind sharp as you age. And it also makes for great conversation at parties and social gatherings.

    To whomever is responsible for making this website, I give you a big thank you. 🙂

  • Okay , here is the real truthful story! Men and women love to flirt but both wives and husbands get jealous, when other men or women kiss their mates as they considered it a threat to their marriage or even if a dating couple was really dangerous. So not sure of the mans or womans name who came up with a great excuse to kiss the opposite sex without hard feelings. so they came up with the story of the Mistletoe… thus giving enjoyment to do what we always had to do behind closed doors,, not we can do in the wide open and for either mate to get pissed of over kissing under the mistletoe, is not a worthy partner or love one after all. ,,,,,, now perhaps i just made this up but it sure sounds like a good excuse to run out and bye some mistletoe and pass it out at the next party you are at. (okay okay, so i own a ton of stock in Mistletoe) so now i can get free kisses and get paid for the kisses thru stock bonus.